Forever Hold Your Peace, Dumbasses!

I have no idea why I’m writing this. It may just be to prove that I can communicate my thoughts via the written word outside of FaceBook and Twitter. (Ignore the fact that you were sent this link via FaceBook and/or Twitter.) I really hope that it isn’t because the Christians who oppose gay marriage have finally gotten to me. (It is.)

Before I go on, I want to make it known that I am a Christian; I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Everyday I try to live for Him more than I did the day before. (Super-relative statement.)

You should also know that I am just a little bit more than half-educated. (He always forgets to say how modest he is.)

Now, with all that said, I would like to ask all Christians who say that Gay-marriage is a threat to the sanctity of marriage or, as the President of Chick-fil-A so eloquently put it, “…we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation” to quit being dicks. (Seriously, you guys are being dicks.)

To address the “God’s Judgment” people; If the killing of the American Indian thing or the enslaving Africans thing hasn’t already called God’s Judgment down upon this great nation then one of two things is going on: 1. God’s an asshole and He  really, really hates Gay marriage but is surprisingly cool with genocide and slavery or 2. He’s not really about judgment anymore. (Pick #2 but in the event that #1 proves true… Oops!)

As Christians, we are supposed to be going on and on about the love of Christ. As a matter of fact, according to Matthew 28:19, that’s the only thing that we are supposed to do. (It’s called the Great Commission!) At some point you have to realize that you can’t talk about the love of Christ and, at the same time, use the word “except”. (Unless you are confusing it with the word, “accept”- dumbasses do that all the time.)

On to the “sanctity of marriage” people, two things. First, this is the same argument that Strom Thurmond used to oppose white people marrying “the Blacks”. (Mr. Thurmond, most likely, used a term stronger than “the Blacks”.) It’s also the argument that the Klan is using. (Oddly enough, the Klan insists that the term “the Blacks” is all they need.) The second thing is more of a “Did you notice that there actually are very serious threats to the sanctity of marriage among us?” than it is a reason that you look like hypocritical dumbasses. (You still look like hypocritical dumbasses.) Divorce, adultery, pre-marital sex are all legal and common practices among Christians. If you think Gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of marriage then you have to admit those three, individually, are killshots. (Come on, admit it.) Maybe we should clean up our own house before telling others what they can or can’t legally do. Those three sanctity-of-marriage-killers line the pews of our churches every Sunday. (Notice his use of the pronouns “we”, “us” and “our”. That’s called “accountability”.)


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